I am back on my continent and I am sad. I don't know what to do.
I left Europe last week, bidding farewell to the beautiful city of Vannes. It was time to go home. Unable to face my country yet, I have arrived in one of my favorite places, Halifax, Nova Scotia. Halifax is a mixture of grit and beauty, a place which has always welcomed the bereft from the survivors of the Titanic to stranded flyers on 9/11. And once again, I am in a liminal zone, neither here nor there, home or abroad, and being rather than doing.
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| Sam |
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| Rosie |
I know I am delaying the inevitable, gazing at soft, foggy vistas and eating lobster with reckless abandon. It makes me momentarily happy, but, like Christmas vacation, I know it can't last. And I miss my homeland too. I rack my brains to come up with something, anything I could do to bring about change. It's hard enough to think of waiting until the mid-term elections and hoping for the best, but unbearable when one considers that there may never be another fair, free election again. What we thought was true about our country and who we were as Americans changes from moment to moment. Was it ever what we thought?
Our system of checks and balances, now apparently defunct, was designed by 18th-century gentlemen and we Americans naively relied on the ideals of this long-dead group. As Google's handy AI-generated text informs me:
In the 18th century, a gentleman was defined by a combination of social standing, character, and behavior. While good birth and wealth were factors, a gentleman's true essence lay in his manners, education, and adherence to a code of honor. He was expected to be cultured, courteous, and well-educated, with a strong sense of integrity and a focus on emotional moderation.
Their ideals seem to have pretty much gone the way of the dodo. There are certainly few of that stamp left in government and perhaps even in the population. There are many brave voices and dedicated protesters. But I wonder, as does D. Earl Stephens, retired managing editor of the military's daily newspaper, Stars and Stripes, whether we are at a point where the military will be asked to attack not only our neighbors but even bear arms against their fellow citizens.
My uneasiness is far worse than before I left on my European adventure. I suspect that's by design, as I hear more and more stories about US citizens being questioned and worse as they re-enter the country, having their phones confiscated and social media posts analyzed. The powers that be want us off-balance and nervous because it's harder to take action, if action there is.
The beauty of writing a blog post is knowing that it's not an essay. I don't have to come to a conclusion. That is a good thing because I don't have one. I think I will go pet a cat.
